waistbandboi:

waistbandboi:

Coming Out (My story on when I came out)
The only ones that knew I was into guys were the guys I had been with. But some of that was being curious growing up and fooling around with friends. We were all just horny guys right? Up until I was 16, that’s about all it was. At 16 I figured out I wasn’t just fooling around, testing the waters of sexuality, being bi, etc. I knew I was gay, which was such a hard word to call myself, I had fought it, and tried to prove to myself that I liked girls. I’m not trying to be conceited but it was easy to “hook up” with guys and girls growing up. I was told a lot how cute I was, so I started to believe it. Anyway, the more I fooled around with guys, the less I liked girls. Guys just made me feel different inside and that’s all I could think about. When I was out with friends, I was always checking out the guys instead of the girls. In the locker rooms, OMG I always had to get out of there as fast as I could so I wouldn’t get boned up but I was always catching as many glances of dick as I could. Even seeing guys in underwear got me hard. (Still does, but that’s another story) Anyway, when I finally admitted to myself I was truly gay, which deep down inside I had known for a long time, it freaked me out. How could I live like this, what would my family and friends think? Would everyone push me away? So many questions. By 17 I was fully into trying to hook up with guys and not girls. My friends still didn’t know but I was getting closer and closer to the day I knew I had to tell someone, anyone, everyone, but I was scared to death. I would sit in my room writing down what I would say to my best friends, to my mom, to my dad, to my brother and sister. I cried a lot trying to come to terms with “coming out” of the closet, but I knew I had to at some point so I could live my life the way I wanted to and not live the lie I was living. So I decided I would tell my 3 best friends first. I knew I could trust them but wasn’t sure how they would react. I thought the easiest one would be my best girl friend Kathy, so I arranged for her to come over to hang out after school one day. We were talking and goofing off and I was obviously nervous because she finally asked what was wrong. I said nothing and she said come on I know you better then that, what’s wrong. So I took a deep breath and started crying and she gave me a big hug and said “come on Mike, talk to me” ….. I knew it was now or never so I looked at her and said well there’s only one way to say it so, I’m gay. At that point I was balling my eyes out. She hugged me again and said “that’s all?” As she was hugging me she told me she has known that for a while. We were both kind of laughing and crying as we were talking and hugging at the same time. She said she was glad I finally told her. I asked, does everyone know? She said there might be some suspicion by our other friends but no one had ever said anything about it. I told her I was telling her and our other best friends first before I told my family but she was the first. I asked how she thought our friends would react and she said, Justin will be fine, your his best friend and he cares a lot about you. Then she said she honestly didn’t know how Kevin would take it but she thinks he will be ok too. So I asked her if she can come over Friday night cause Kevin and Justin were coming over for pizza and video games (so they thought) She said she would. Fast forward to Friday night and everyone was over, we ate and were just sitting around talking and I said I needed to talk to them. I told them I want you to know I love all of you as my best friends but I had something I have to say and I hope they would still want to be my friends after I tell them. Everything got real serious and they were just looking at me not saying a word. I was trying to get the words out and I couldn’t and tears started running down my face every time I tried to talk. I finally just said it, I’m gay and I hope you still want to be my friends. Justin said dude I don’t care if you’re gay or not, we will always be friends. (We have been friends since 2nd grade) Kevin just sat there with a shocked look on his face. After a few tense minutes he said its ok that I’m gay and we can still be friends but to be honest, I don’t think I can hang out with you as much anymore cause he don’t want people thinking he was gay too. I was ok with his honestly and told him that. Justin actually gave me a hug and whispered to me, fuck him, I’ll always be your friend no matter what. We played video games but it was a little awkward and we didn’t talk much. After a while Kevin said he had to leave. I looked at all 3 of them and said, please don’t tell anyone yet because I still had to tell my parents before they found out through other people. They all agreed and Kevin said goodbye and went to shake my hand. I grabbed him and gave him a hug like I always have and told him, I only want to be your friend, i don’t want to fuck you dude. Everyone laughed and Kevin lightened up a bit then left but seemed to be a little more like himself. After he left, things got back to normal with Kathy, Justin and I. We had a great time the rest of the evening. After everyone left, I knew I had to tell my parents ASAP in case Kevin started talking, then the questions again, one at a time? both together? (I’ll finish this in a while, sorry I didn’t realize it would go so long)

For those that asked, here’s Part 1 of my coming out story (coming out to my friends) I’ll post Part 2 (coming out to family) sometime tomorrow.

Here’s my coming out story, Part 1, I’ll past Part 2 later this evening.